A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital. She timidly asked, ‘Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?’
The operator said ‘I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number?’
The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, ‘Norma Findlay, Room 302.’
The operator [...]

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?”
“98,” she replied.
“Two years older than me.”
“So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented.
She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?”
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: “And what do you think is widowthe best thing about being 104?” [...]

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through the elder version of the mane he once had.
“Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-45, pushing the pedal harder. Looking in his rearview mirror, he [...]

THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!
We Must Stop This Immediately!
Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper?  Groceries are heavier.  And, everything is farther away.  Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the [...]

These three old ladies and their dogs were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park.  The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened  his trench coat.
Gertrude immediately had a stroke.
Then Maude also had a stroke.
But Tillie, being older [...]